Becoming a Philadelphian

Eternity in question

2010-04-18T19:09:00.001-07:00

In need of a safer outlet than facebook statuses to confess my current thoughts. A little introspection that needs to get out of my head before it consumes too much of my present. I'm questioning the future. Why is it that I always had big aspirations for my life where I am currently? I could always picture what life would be like as I hoped it be would be at this age. But why is it that I've never been able to picture anything beyond this? I feel stupid that I even consider this, but I worry what if the Mayan calendar predictions were right? What if it is all over in 2.5 years? What then? What would heaven be like? Would that disprove religion? Would there be no heaven? What do I even hope eternity is like? Will it be like Groundhogs Day? Will I atleast get to pick the day? December 27th, 2009. I'm not living in the past. I'm just saying that would be the day I'd pick to get to do over on infinite repeat. We try to act so strong when things fall apart and tell ourselves we will be happy. But then time turns happy into "well, atleast I'm not unhappy". I see it happening all around. People just getting comfortable, trying to forget their great mistakes as if to pretend they were just insignificant mistakes like all the rest. I wonder then, if the world starts tearing apart, will we all run back to the great ones that we hoped to be with just once more in life, because what is there to lose if you're only problem was picturing a future together that would work? When there is no future, is there a problem anymore? I hope that it's not the case, but I can't help but feel like it's coming close to being over. I just feel this sense of doom every now and then and it feels so lonely. I don't feel this way all the time or even often. But the rare times I think about it, like right now, I can't help but wonder is this really it? What now? I don't want to spend these last moments thinking that the happiest day of my life has already past. I will be happy, yes... But... Will I be happIER? Time will tell. Earthquakes and volcano eruptions will still happen no matter if the Mayans were right or wrong, they are trying to tell us carpe diem. I guess all that I can do now is listen and try to make each day better than the last. Please don't worry about me thinking I'm depressed and need consoling. I won't feel this way tomorrow. I will already feel better by the time I've posted this rant because it's how I work. I only get depressed when I feel there's nothing left in this world to be contributed that hasn't already been done. But then I write and feel better, like I just created something that makes beautiful chaotic sense to me. And no one else could have touched more clearly on my thoughts than I just did. It's an artist thing that you wouldn't understand unless you do it too. Otherwise, you'd probably just think I'm mental, but crazy blog ranting is way healthier than cutting an ear off, I'd say.
-- Post From My iPhone

Long Overdue Update

2010-01-24T15:47:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post in this blog. Because, well, I'm no longer a Philadelphian. So, for all of my PA followers wondering where the hell I disappeared to and why and so and so forth, here ya go.
I moved back home in September. I don't regret anything. I'm very happy being home but I'm super blessed for my time in Philly because I realized a lot of things.

1) I was feeling really restless in VA, I loved my life, my job, and my friends here, but for some reason I felt unsettled knowing that I'd never left. Leaving helped me realize just what is important to me. My family is a big deal to me. Being close by to them is something I took for granted until I was more than just a spontaneous hour long trip away.

2) My job and paycheck does not define me. My hobbies define me. I will never be able to make a living off the things I love doing: making people laugh, drinking beers with friends, playing sports, writing songs, cooking, playing guitar, reading Jane Austen novels, watching Dexter. But as long as I make a point to DO these things outside of 9a-5p, then I will always be happy. I wasted a lot of my free time trying to figure out what I wanted to do for a living that would make me happy, which in turn meant I wasn't doing the things that inevitably made me feel fulfilled in life. So, yeah, I know now that I could work the shittiest job in the world from 9a-5p as long as my evenings and weekends are spent doing the things I love and not spent worrying about the future. The future will figure itself out, it always has, it always will.

3) I loved the public transportation aspect of city living, but nothing beats that small town feeling of going somewhere and running into familiar and friendly faces.

4) I got my love for reading back. And sometimes, there's just no better evening then one quietly spent on the couch with some earl grey and a good book.

5) I really like my independence and feeling self sufficient. I don't know why, but I like the feeling of looking around and thinking, I worked hard and saved hard for this. I don't like handouts or expensive gifts. There's nothing you can tell me with your wallet that you can't say for free with your mouth. Maybe it's a pride thing, but I like to think it's an anti-shallow thing. Or maybe I'm just cheap.

6) I like to feel appreciated. (who doesn't?) It felt good to come home and see old friends and coworkers that were glad to see me back. You don't really get that feeling in a big city. Sometimes its just good to hear a simple "thanks". Not that it's frequently necessary, but if you ever find yourself wondering "what's the point?" It might be because you haven't heard a thank you in a long time.

7) I love football. I really learned the game while in Philly, not just the basics. I can spot holding penalties and call challenge outcomes impressively for an estrogen harborer. And yes, I refer to my favorite players by their first name. What up?!

I think I'll leave it at lucky 7. I could keep going. Just know that I'm home, I'm happy, and I know I could go anywhere if the time ever came, and take these lessons with me. Oh wait no, there is one huge lesson I'm leaving out.
On my 24th birthday card from my mom she wrote this simple yet profound statement. "You have the power to create your own happiness. It's just a matter of choosing how you look at things."
And then it went on to say more great mom-insights that seem to be exactly what you need to hear at the time. Did I mention how important my family is to me???
Life's too short to choose to be unhappy. Philly wasn't going well, I stayed there as long as I did because I didn't want to feel like I failed. I had a choice, I could stay there and be miserable but keep my pride, or I could move back, admit defeat, but smile more. I will always choose happiness.

That's it for this blog. I hope you enjoyed it.

The Cruise

2009-07-11T10:59:00.001-07:00

Finally revisiting some promised updates... the Cruise.
-Went to the Western Caribbean the first week in May. It was awesome! Being my first cruise, I was afraid I might get seasick, but it didn't bother me at all, weirdly what bothered me most was being back on land, where you still felt like you're rocking. I didn't like that too much, because it's the same feeling I get when I'm dehydrated. The other downer to the week was I forgot to put sunscreen on my stomach the first day, and while the burn wasn't that bad, a few days later I decided to run a 5k on the top-level track and it made the burn start to peel prematurely, so the last 3 days, it felt like I was walking around with my internal organs exposed to the elements. K.O. points to the Caribbean sun. I'll get a rematch again sometime though, because other than the sea legs and the sun burn it was up there on the list of most awesome adventures I've taken.
Great things about the trip:
-Haiti= went ziplining on the world's longest zipline over water
-Jamaica=bought a hookah and laughed as the customs people were trying to get me to call it a 'bong'. Didn't fall for that trick. Now I'm thankful that I had some hippie friends in college that told me the only difference between a 'bong' and a 'waterpipe' is the name, and a 'bong' is illegal in the U.S.
We also climbed up a waterfall in Jamaica. I saw my life flashing before my eyes a lot during that expedition, but I made it to the top okay. Sadly, the 70 year old in front of me did not. He's okay.... just had to quit after the first part of the climb. (I wanted to as well). Because I was under the impression that it was going to be a leisurely hike BESIDE Dunn's River Falls. Wrong. It was IN the falls. Basically rock climbing in the middle of a terrentual downpour, hoping for your life that no one above you falls, because they're taking everyone below them out with them. Yeah, it would never fly in the U.S. But hey, I survived, so i feel ultra bad ass.
-Grand Caymans=did some ocean kayaking and then coral reef snorkeling on the "divorce excursion". They only had two person kayaks, and well, when you're already exhausted from climbing for your life the day before, and you feel like your kayak is just going in circles, there was a lot of "Stop hitting my paddle!", "You're not doing it right!", "Just stop. I'll do it myself!".... I'm cranky when I'm tired.
-The food= completely awesome, completely too much, hence the need to run the 5k.
-The entertainment= I learned how to play casino black jack, and it only cost $200 to learn! HA! Good thing I'm good at Hold'em and was able to win my losses back. My favorite source of entertainment was the piano bar with Matt Yee. We went to see him perform almost every night. He did an "Adult Sing-Along" show, which basically meant a bunch of people singing oldies and getting plastered. The worse we sang, the more he made us drink. Which obviously meant a downward spiral of more howling and more drinking. Good times though, good times.
-The foreigners=no need to explain, there were plenty of stories that ended with "....foreigners". Just like I'm sure there were equivalent amounts of historias that ended with "... américains"
My favorite story being the adorable 3 year old german boy in the elevator practicing his numbers. He completely mixed up his zwölf with his elf.... foreigners.

New Hope, PA

2009-06-09T14:09:00.001-07:00

Sean and I went to New Hope a couple weekends ago and that's like my new favorite place. It reminds me of my two homes. Lexington and Harrisonburg. It has the small historic natural charm of Lexington being right next to the Delaware river, while having that cultural blast and young energy of the burg. Equiped with a brewpub, art galleries, cafes, and the coolest little bookstore I've ever been too. I've included some shots I took with my iPhone while there.

-- Post From My iPhone

Updates to come

2009-06-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

Posts I will be creating soon:
Cruise
Bday trip to NYC
iPhone
Trip home to the burg
New hope trip
South street big wheel pub crawl
Fool by Christopher Moore
My job update

I'm working on these so stay tuned.

-- Post From My iPhone

Update

2009-04-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

1) went to Vegas last week. That was tons of fun! Got some really cool stories, photos, and coined the phrase "This is how episodes of CSI start." I'll share stories and photos when I find time, which I don't have now that I'm working full-time at a job where I think anyone might go postal at any minute, and I can't even guarantee that it won't be me, and I consider myself normal.
But I guess it's the "normal" ones you have to keep an eye on.

2) My job: working full-time in NJ, as a typesetter/graphic designer for all of the local hospitals. I create all of those forms you fill out when you go to the doctor, booklets with pictures of festering wounds, and pamphlets such as, "Oops, You've Got Herpes! Now What?" I hate my life between the hours of 8a-5p. So basically, I'm saving up as much money as I can so that I can either visit Harrisonburg every other weekend, or just move back and do the blind job hunt over again. Compared to now, I think I would take food service/retail back in the Burg any day. But I'm still holding out for that Audio job to get back to me in the next month. I'm also seriously considering taking out a loan (if I can get one), and starting my own graphic design business, instead of freelancing. Then I could make my own schedule and it wouldn't matter where I lived, a few weeks here, a few there, lots of time for hockey, vegas, and the steelers. sigh, I just want to be happy. I'll start working on that dream on my birthday.

3) I'm spending my entire VA state refund on music. There's no station up here that even compares to WNRN, so I had to create my own version of WNRN on Pandora, and the result was me being introduced to way too much music that I must own NOW.

4) One of my cousins is getting married this weekend, while another one of my cousins just turned 2 days old!

5) it's dinner time.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz (8)

2009-03-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

I think I get the point of the book.... I think.... I could be completely wrong though, but here's my take on it:

The curse that the book refers to that anyone who hears or says the name of a certain ship captain who (hint) "sailed the ocean blue", I think has to do exactly with the concepts that came along with him. Another website says about him, "He was the original frontiersman who challenged the unknown sea and brought back stories that fired the imagination of a new beginning where all would be possible."

Well, haven't you felt a bit cursed too since you got the history lesson in Elementary school? When you felt you lived in a world with little left to be discovered, but somehow you had to discover SOMETHING? I don't know about you, but I have. It's like the main theme in "The Cheese Monkeys" by Chip Kidd, the human condition means always looking for the next best thing, trying to be the best you can possibly be, not settling for anything less than BETTER. Suddenly, good is never good enough. We live in an age where "Good is dead". Great is the only option. And perhaps it's that same condition that creates the curse. Once we realize good is dead, and we want something more, that we might deserve something more, we will never be able to let that go, never be satisfied until we die.
And as a result, the more people we come in contact with with our "be somebody" mentality, the more we spread the curse to affect them as well. Sorry, reader. I may have cursed you. But Junot did it to me, so blame him. Again, I could be wrong though.

Overall, great book, but I could also see it as the equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting... Only great if you chose to interpret it as something moving. I'd like to think that I took something from it, if not just a new interest in the history of the dominican republic.

The Problem with Redheads

2009-03-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

according to Tom Robbins' "Still Life with Woodpecker":

"The 12 Most Famous Redheads:
1. Lucille Ball, comedienne
2. Gen. George Custer, military maverick
3. Lizzie Borden, hatchetwoman
4. Thomas Jefferson, revolutionary
5. Red Skelton, comic
6. George Bernard Shaw, playwright
7. Judas Iscariot, informer .... aka, Judas Iscarrot-top
8. Mark Twain, humorist
9. Woody Allen, humorist
10. Margeret Sanger, feminist
11. Edna St. Vincent Millay, libertine poet
12. Bernard Mickey Wrangle, bomber
From this list, the analytically minded might conclude that persons with red hair tend to be either dangerous or funny."

"redheads are the result of sugar and lust"

after explaining the possible origin of Redheads:
"So redheads are either descendants of the demigods or are potential demigods. That's nice. I like that."

I like that, too, Tom.

I've decided to start dedicating an individual post to each book from now on. I rate 'Still Life with Woodpecker' an easy 10. Any book that successfully makes redheads out to be simultaneous outlaws and heroes, while claiming that Blondes are terrorists from the planet Argon is a winner with me. Tom Robbins is absolutely an absolutely hilarious genius. This is the first author I've thought I have to meet this person, hear them speak at a conference or somehow find an upcoming booksigning. He's also the only writer who has made me laugh out loud. I'll definitely be reading more of him.

2009 Book list

2009-03-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

My New Year's Resolution this year was to read 5 books, as I couldn't remember the last time I had read. Well, it hasn't even been 2 months and I've met that goal. I've caught the reading bug now and can't imagine giving it up. I might as well keep a list of the books I've read this year.

In order of read:
(enjoyment rating scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest)

Firmin by Sam Savage (4) - The story of a mouse that lived in a used bookstore in a rundown urban area, learned to read, and became aware of his mortality and the his crumbling surroundings. I liked the author's humor in his writing style, and the book was entertaining at times. The subject of poverty and mortality was a bit morose, but realistic. I'd recommend it to someone of dark humor that enjoys literary references that doesn't mind continually being asked, "what does it all mean?"

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien (10) - Of course you know what it's about, and why wouldn't it be a 10? An author cool enough to have 4 initials is inevitably going to produce coolness. I realized there's actually a bit of a science fiction nerd in me after all. I will definitely be reading the Lord of the Ring books, but decided not to jump into them immediately afterwards in order to give a sense of 'lapsed time' just as intended between the two works.

Confessions of a Shopaholic (10) - Okay, so, I'm a sellout and read a bestseller chick-lit paperback, I kinda hated myself when I bought it too. But seriously, if you're a 20 / 30 something woman trying to find your "career path", You'd understand why this book became a bestseller. It's hilarious, just girly enough while maintaining a bit of "hear me roar" feminism, a really easy read, and while it didn't change my view on the world, it made me feel good to be reading a book for entertainment rather than watching the "mass appeal" equivalent on tv.

Shopaholic Takes Manhattan (8) - When I sell out, I go all out. The way the first book ended MADE me go out and purchase the next one. You literally fall in love with the characters, they became like great friends, and I didn't want to let them go with the first book, so I got the second in the series. The characters were all still there, so I was happy, the situations were as equally entertaining/embarassing, but I will admit, I felt like how much more credit card debt can this girl take? So, the main theme got a little exhausted with me. I will eventually read the next book in the series, but because this one wasn't a 10 like the last, I thought I should take a break from it.

The Cheese Monkeys by Chip Kidd (10) - About a male Freshman Art Student in the 1950's taking one of the first Graphic Design courses offered at a Pennsylvania college with a professor who is the equivalent of Simon Cowell. Although it was based in the '50s, it took me back to some of those same freshman year feelings as a music major. The fact that I'm interested in graphic design didn't hurt either, oh yeah, and I caught all of those PA references in the book. Also, I figured out what a 'cheese monkey' is, and that makes the book an instant classic to me. I HIGHLY recommend this book to any adult with a background/interest in the arts.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (10) - Gotta love the classic chick lit! I thought it would be a much harder read due to that fact, but I think I'm more Victorian era fluent than I thought. I've always been told I have an old soul, and I think it founds its origin. This book reminded me a lot of the Sound of Music, but without the Nazi's and the music. So, probably not like the Sound of Music at all, but to each their own.

Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins (10)

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz (8)

Next up, Fool by Christopher Moore

To come:
The Soloist - Steve Lopez (own it)
Lush Life - Richard Price (own it)
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (own it)
Flatland / Sphereland / Flatterland
The Awakening - Kate Chopin (own it)
The Mysteries of Udolpho
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Northhanger Abbey - Jane Austen; after I've gotten in some more victorian gothic
The Lord of the Rings - Tolkien (own it)
The Road
Wicked (own it)
some David Sedaris *recommended by jus
some James Joyce

...and counting. open to suggestions. let's talk books.

2 interviews

2009-02-03T16:59:00.000-08:00

I guess I need to update everyone on my current job status. Two weeks ago, I went in for an interview with a publishing company that wants to bring all their audio needs in house instead of outsourcing it. They found my resume online, and called me in for an interview. The interview went really well, and I REALLY want the job, the only problem is.... they haven't quite convinced their management to go this route and bring the audio editing/recording in house. I have the job though if they do. Today, I was asked to put together a good 30-45min presentation for the execs on Friday to discuss procedures, costs, and answer any questions. Thankfully, no matter what their decision is, I will get paid for my research, preparation, and presentation time. This is why I want this job so badly, this is exactly the level of responsibility and respect I was looking for.

On a side note, I also had an interview with a printing company to do typesetting. They offered me the job, but since it has a high turnover rate, I get to do a 3 week paid trial run, starting at 24 hours/week, and after the three weeks, I can either leave or come on full-time. It's actually a perfect situation, because I'm really wanting to take the other job, but can't know anything until they make their decision.

So, that's the update for now, i'll update after the presentation.

Thanksgiving Song

2008-12-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

I know this is a little late, but while job searching I ran across a posting for a puppeteer position for a children's tv show. I thought it was kind of funny and I started imagining the interview process for a puppeteer. I vividly pictured my response to the question "what kind of experience do you have with puppets?"

Me- "Well actually, my siblings and I went through a puppet phase once when we decided to perform a musical reenactment of the First Thanksgiving with homemade puppet Pilgrims and Indians. It was very brief but we wrote a song that went:

One day long ago, on a very long trip
There were some Pilgrims who were getting sick
And then all a sudden they spotted some land
They saw some Indians running through the land
The Pilgrims said 'Hi' and the Indians said 'How'
The Pilgrims said 'LET'S MAKE PEACE!'
and they all had a 'GREAT BIG FEAST!'"

I would have that puppeteer job in no time.

Note the reuse of the word "land"... there may have been 'sand' for one of those, but I'm pretty sure we said land for both lines, which makes it that much more humorous now. We may not have even written the song, I was about 5 or 6 and in my memory we created it, I could be a wrong though.

Thanks a lot Bush.

2008-12-11T11:09:00.000-08:00

Chalk another 1 up for the Economy in the reasons Whitney remains unemployed.

I feel like I was waiting for this morning as anxiously excited as I was waiting for Christmas morning as a child. This was to be the "Morning of my *Interview*" (said fantastically), something that now seems to be as imaginary and frequent as visits from the tooth fairy. I wake up early, ready to make this the first day of my new life as a *Production Manager*--looks in the mirror and repeats title to self and place arms on hips, elbows out, chin up, superhero posing. This is my "Morning of my *Interview*" (said fantastically) routine. Well, I guess it can't qualify as a routine if this is the first experienced "Morning of my "Interview*". But I will carry on the tradition, it worked well. I was pumped, I was confident, I was the BEST potential Production Manager in the world! I was also minutes away from a phone call canceling the interview due to "the state of the economy." I put down the phone, along with my chin, and the superhero pose took on more of a fetal position back in bed to sleep off the news. I dreamed of better times, where the economy was fruitful, jobs were a-plenty, that's right AAAA-plenty, and George W. Bush was no longer in office. I woke up still unemployed. Any one hiring superhero stand ins?

Stay

2008-12-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

After a brief visit home for Thanksgiving, I came back ready to tackle the job hunt and make a success of it here. Thankfully, I finally got a callback to set up a phone interview with an audio archiving studio up here. That is this week, and I'm hoping for the best. I would like to be able to stay, but if the job hunt is still unsuccessful by the end of January, then I will have to consider moving back to VA. It's crazy how the emotions flip flop so severely. All of November, I could think of nothing but how much I wanted to move back, but then the last two weeks, I've been incredibly happy and motivated here. One thing that has helped is with all my unemployment free time, I set up an art nook in my living room, and spend a lot of time drawing, painting, whatever I feel like doing each day. It's definitely helped take my mind off of how I'm doing nothing but filling out applications and waiting on phone calls. So far, one phone call for about 300 applications....I need this to go well. I will update after the interview.

Homesick

2008-11-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

It's been two months and I don't know how much longer I'm going to make it here. I'm really missing the mountains, my friends, and Virginians in general. Maybe I'm being bias, but 90% of people I meet here have no sense of human decency, most are self-centered douche bags. I knew that Autumn would be the hardest month for me to be away from the valley because it was my favorite season there, but I had no idea it would be THIS hard. I'm not making enough money here to be able to take advantage of city life, and I'm actually missing Rosetta Stone a lot. I've become addicted to HGTV, and my heart breaks a little every time a RS commercial comes on. Also, watching home improvement shows just remind me of how just one year ago I was looking into getting a house in Harrisonburg, and now I can barely pay my rent. If this keeps up I may go home for the holidays and decide not to come back.

Life isn't going too well right now for this nomad.

Website

2008-10-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

I've been m.i.a for a few weeks buried in CSS code and teaching myself how to use Joomla! content management system in effort to put my audio and graphic design portfolio online. The final product being www.whitneytolley.com

Check it out and hire me for any of your design and sound needs.

creating graphic art and stuff

2008-10-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

Poster for the JMU Fall 2008 Opera. You should go to it if you get the chance.

Advertisements I've made for clients:

A lesson on Sportsmanship

2008-10-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

Some people believe the word "sorry" should never be said/heard during game time. These are also the ones that believe in the phrase "no pain, no gain". Which, I'm not trying to change that, yes, say sorry AFTER the game. What I'm here to talk about is that in a competitive environment where "sorry" isn't allowed... NO words should be said to the other team on the court... NONE. Trash talking should only be allowed when you're able to follow it up with "just kidding".

If you run your mouth because you're losing and you can't win unless you think your words might get into the person's head, then you have no skills on the court, only skills for the debate team.

I'm ranting about this because, I played hockey tonight for the first time in Philly, and when the other team started to lose they started taking cheap shots and just saying things that made them come across as complete jackasses. For example, tripping me, and falling that up with "stay down, b*tch".

I was startled... not by the trip, it's hockey, trips happen... but the smack talk, too? really?! I thought, maybe I mistook the tone and perhaps it was going to be followed with a "just kidding"... but no, my laugh was followed with a "yeah, keep laughing while you still have your teeth"....

Yes, this man's words got into my head. This 40-something year old man's words. FORTY!
I don't know why he plays hockey, but I play for the really great plays, the hard earned goals, the running workout, and to learn from better players. This guy plays to win. At least my way, no matter who wins, I come out feeling fulfilled. This guy, only enjoys himself if he's winning, and what will that get him? maybe a small plaque that says Philly Sport and Social Club Hockey champs Fall 2008? Something to brag about at the office... where no one cares anyways?

Here's a man that may be a completely different person off the court. Maybe he donates blood in his spare time, sends a nickel everyday to starving pygmy babies in Africa, greets everyone in the office with a genuine smile and even knows all of their names when he says "good morning, [insert name here]." He could be a real swell kinda guy off the court.

But here's the difference between him and I, I believe in sportsmanship. I believe in telling the opponent when they had an awesome move. When I shake their hand I know at least one thing to complement each player on individually, maybe it was their speed, their stick handling, their shooting, their defense, etc... and I tell them that instead of "good game, good game, good game."
And because I not only believe in sportsmanship, but also believe in SHOWING it, when I leave the court and go about real life, I might run into one of them in the city somewhere and they will say "I know her, she plays hockey, she's really nice AND she can play"

Whereas if this guy were walking down the street (could be on his way to go volunteer at the orphanage), anyone that knows him from sports will probably just say to whoever their with, "I know that guy.... he's a complete a**hole."

The moral of the story is, it doesn't matter who you are in life, who you are on the court can define who you are in life in some people's eyes... and you never know when that could come back to you.

And, oh yeah, we won. ;o)

The Star Gazer

2008-10-01T18:48:00.001-07:00

>>Finally inspired to do something creative. Well, I guess it wasn't Philadelphia that inspired me to write the following. It was more of a product of my missing Harrisonburg.... oh yeah, and I've been reading a lot of Shakespeare.<<

The Star Gazer

If ever there be a time to believe in parallel lives it would be thus;
two souls traversing on separate compasses.
Would e'er our courses meet again?
Or are we meant for nothing more than perpetual distancing?
With only the moon above as our common legend.

Remember, love, that evening when we saw it rise and light the course for both to see?
But quickly hid when men with scopes and books said it's time it could not be?

Time, time... what is time when here lie two who never believed the cock to crow the truth.
Mine, Mine... singing much earlier than yours, if yours doth even signs of show.

Still each star doth whisper implications that someday
ours will again put himself and our path on display.
It's this revision I do hope
and this my burden to forever bear
Until my final bell doth toll
Or your belated foul doth crow.

Driving lessons

2008-09-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

First, let me say this, I hate my car. No, I like the car, but I hate driving. I would like to live in a world where I never had to drive a car except on back country roads with all the windows down and the music blaring. Other than that, I want to be able to walk to where I need to go or to whatever mode of public transportation will get me there. I remember when I turned 15 and unlike my peers, I dreaded the idea of getting my learner's permit. What was wrong with my current rideshare system? Why did I need to learn to drive when I was getting to places just fine? What if I got in an accident? But then I forgot about the fear after a couple times of go-carting and became a driving enthusiast. So, I got my learners permit and started driving with my parents, which was probably a bad idea, because my mom is the most squeamish passenger and just created in me this inherent fear of merging lanes, tractor trailers, and the interstate in general. I avoided I-81 at all costs until time came to take a car to college. Then the inevitable road trips with friends were planned and I'd be the first to volunteer NOT to drive, especially if it looked as though the route might involve any 3+ travel lanes. There was a time when I wanted to move to Nashville, but every time I visited there, I was either a) almost in an accident or b) almost witnessed an accident. So, out of fear of driving there, I never up and moved there. I probably would have if they had reliable public transportation.
However, recently, I've been on a big move-my-life-forward power trip, moving, and looking for a new job, and all, that I must've forgotten all about this big fear. Because, here I am, navigating my way around the city like a seasoned (okay, sometimes nearly soiled) pro. And although I still hate driving my car when I could use public transportation and walk/bike, I went from avoiding interstates in the Shenandoah Valley to commuting around the 6th largest city in the U.S.!
I will, however, be getting a Railpass once I figure out where I'll be working...

My first night

2008-09-10T16:14:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was my first official day as a Philadelphian. I found a nice rowhome with affordable rent, a cool roommate (one more to come soon), and I have 2 windows in my bedroom! My closet space is a little unfortunate, but I've had worse. I'm not quite used to the fact that the view from every window is looking into another house. I wonder if when it comes time in life to move into a house in the suburbs, if I'll have to get used to NOT seeing other windows outside of mine. Anyways, last night I went to the Manayunk Brewery and Restaurant (I highly recommend their Peach Wheat and Schuylkill Punch Brew; I like beers with a low IBU) and then walked the Main St. of Manayunk, and it was exactly what I needed to feel home. Not that Main St. is anything like my experiences in Lexington or Harrisonburg, but it looked exactly like the kind of place I've always imagined myself living at--cobblestone sidewalks, quaint shops and cafes, people sitting inside and outside, an artsy vibe in the air, right next to a long boardwalk by the river. sigh, my soul was at ease. Needless to say, I slept pretty well. I'm surprised that I haven't cried yet about moving, but then again, it also has yet to sink in that this isn't just a vacation from my life in Harrisonburg, this IS my life now. My roommate just moved from VA as well, so we're both adjusting from living in the valley (she's from Radford) to living in the city. From my experiences so far though, I already know that I will have a hard time leaving this place when/if that time comes. I went running this morning, in my attempt to keep up the good habits while leaving my bad habits in VA. While I was out exploring, I saw signs for recreational/social sports league sign ups, so I went online this afternoon and joined two floor hockey leagues. One starts next Thursday, and the other begins in October. I can't wait!
As for the job search... I've put in applications to some places, one of which is a Studio Coordinator job and sounds very similar to what I was doing for Rosetta, I'm hoping to get that job, but I'm also enjoying unemployment for a change. I figure if all else fails, I'll go to a Temp Agency in a couple weeks and try out a bunch of different jobs in order to find what I like most.

I have only one complaint that I must throw in: our front door deadbolt is infuriating sometimes! It takes too much elbow juice and takes way too long to get inside. The landord said it's only because the heat causes the door to swell and get stuck, and that it should be fine once the weather cools down, but this is not cool! On 100 degree days, the last thing I want is to be working up more of a sweat trying to get into my nice cool apartment!!! Other than that, Philly is great so far!

McCain appoints Sarah Palin as VP running mate

2008-08-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

I usually try to avoid the subject of politics, but I feel this is worth discussing a bit, as I'm sure it's going to be a hot topic in the next few months.

I just watched the announcement on ABC 20 minutes ago. I almost flipped the channel when I saw John McCain, but then I saw the caption at the bottom of the screen that said "McCain appoints Sarah Palin as VP running mate".... *double take*... SARAH??? That's a girl's name?! I was intrigued. Yep, sure as my hair is red, a white male republican presidential candidate selected a FEMALE running mate!!! Not to downplay Mrs. Palin's accomplishments, but this is definitely a power play to try to sway Moderate women, like myself, who are on the fence about which party to vote for. However, my awareness of this sly move, isn't going to win me over so easily. Yes, it's a HUGE step for American women, but I got to thinking about the difference this might make... if any.

It's important to note, Palin is the governor of Alaska, a state where residents don't have to pay state income tax, and a state that is dependent on oil and federal spending.
San Francisco Chronicle
So, what interest would an Alaskan governor have in developing energy alternatives to cut out not only our dependence on foreign oil, but on oil in general?! And how could she understand the hardships that are endured from certain taxes placed on families to support federal spending that these tax payers DON'T see a return from in the form of better public education, safety, better health care, etc... unlike Alaska, that doesn't pay income taxes, but still receives federal funding...

hmmmmmm... I don't think much would change with the Republican party's view of keeping Big Oil happy and spend spend spending our tax dollars to finance wars in order to keep control of the oil industry. Sure, they may not be known for raising our tax dollars, but I'll take higher taxes any day when I know the money is coming back to the people and not to big corporations.

So, McCain, I applaud your strategic move, and I'm happy for the progressive ideas that this will introduce to women around the nation/world, but I will not be played into believing that her nomination will make the difference that this nation needs most right now. You had me for a second, but I'm a smarter woman than that.

Introduction

2008-08-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

Most of you reading this already know me, and as you probably already know, I am terrible about making a point to keep in touch with people. This is my attempt to at least keep any one that wants to stay in the loop, in the loop. Here, I hope to write brief updates as to my happenings adjusting to city life. But mostly I plan to use this as a space to document what I find artistically inspiring and the product of that inspiration; whether it be photography, graphic design, painting/drawing, poetry, music, short stories... basically anything I'm inspired to create. Obviously, if I'm not finding inspiration here, it's time to pack up and find another place. Keep checking in, or better yet, subscribe to it so you automatically know when anything new has been posted!
Also, leave comments, people!